A Nice Ride

Sometimes as a couple we need a moment to just enjoy life together. Try taking a hot air balloon ride together. The experience will be powerful,. You will also share a moment in time that will not be forgotten. Often balloon rides are in the morning when the day is just waking up. The sun is rising and the air is crisp. Enjoy the moment. When you land, have a nice light breakfast and talk about the experience. Enjoy what you saw and think about the wonderful person you shared the experience with. What a way to start a day.

Motivations

 Romance and love should last forever. Why is it that we buy roses or other flowers to show our love? They have been cut and die after a few days. We want our love to keep growing. It is wonderful to plant a flower, bush or tree together and watch it grow. You can look at it year after year and remember the day you planted it. The memory will stay with you both and you will have something to look forward to. What a beautiful way of saying you want your relationship to last.

Keeping it Simple

I just returned from my parents 60th wedding anniversery and feel there is much to learn from them. I spoke of them in my past thoughts but I feel a need to give further insite on what they have done right. My mother told me that her and dad got married in the parsonage of there church with a handful of witnesses and no pictures taken. They have always kept it simple. I remember dad picking a handfull of wild flowers, placing them in a drinking glass and giving them to mom. She would smile laugh and blush. I would later see her admiring them on the window sill above the sink. Other times he would carve something out of wood and give it to her with a mischievous look. The carving would later be displayed on a table or shelf somewhere in the house. I remember picking dadilions with dad for mom, not realizing as a child what he was doing. He was being romantitic. He was being romantic in such a simple way and mom loved the simplicity. She knew that is was not the price of the gift, but the thought. Take that and think of something simple to show your love. Do what feels right to you. It has worked for my parents for 60 years.

Letting Love Speak

Letting “love” speak for you. Have you ever been out in public & watched a sweet elderly couple having the best time of their lives just spending time together? Each time I witness this, I’m reassured in the fact that when two people are truly meant to be together they enjoy everything about their partner. It’s almost as if they are sharing a special “joke” or “internal language” that others simply don’t understand.

When you allow love to speak for you, true feelings are conveyed in a very subtle manner. Something as simple as meeting each other’s gaze & slowing down to “listen” to what the other is saying can reap enormous rewards. Showing your partner how much you adore them by listening & keeping eye contact, creates warm & loving emotions for both of you. It brings forth rich intimacy that is beyond the “physical” & both parties are drawn by attraction into fulfillment and contentment.

A suprise

There is something fun and exiting about surprising the one you love. Rent a cabin, room or someplace romantic without telling him or her your plans. On the side, if it is possible pack a few things for your loved one and sneak them along or better yet, drop them off there before leaving. To add to the surprise call a caterer and have them deliver dinner. Some will have everything ready if you arrange for them to get in. Another version of this is to let the person know you have a place saved and just surprise them with the catered dinner. It will be a surprise not soon forgotten.

It is Not an Activity

What is romance? Romance is not an activity; it is a state of being. It is a way of feeling. The trouble with romance is that people try to force it. They feel they need to be romantic or they need to feel romance. Romance is not a fake it till you make it proposition. You have to feel it, want it. There must be a buildup of excitement. This excitement for me is when I start to feel romantic and begin planning for what I will do, and thinking about the one I love. It is the greatest thing. Romance is for Mondays, Thursdays, Wednesdays and Tuesdays. It is not just for weekends and holidays. It is for whenever you feel in love. It is to be felt and enjoyed. Not forced.

Relaxation

Have you ever taken your loved one to a spa? The idea can be very difficult for a lot of men and some women. Men often feel awkward or embarrassed going to a spa. Some women have the same worries or they feel uncomfortable being pampered.
A spa treatment can be an amazing experience. Some spas have packages for couples. These packages are a wonderful way to spend time together. As a couple you get to be pampered, massaged and manicured. Try it on a day that is not a holiday, birthday or special event. Do it to forget the days troubles. Do it to release the stresses. A simple trip to a spa could be the beginning of a wonderful journey.

Communication

Communication is fundamental in a successful relationship. Bring yourself closer to your mate by simply “sharing.” You can convey your feelings in many different ways: Try the simple, small, and little meaningful things (love notes in the lunch box; unexpectedly sneaking up and giving a “hug” or “caress”). Sharing can be expanded in bigger ways (reserving a Jacuzzi suite and hiding the room key under the napkin). The most important thing to remember is “don’t be afraid to expose your true feelings to the one you love.” Trust your instincts, open your heart and truly make room for your partner.

Learning Together

What a wonderful experience it is to learn something new with the one you love. There is a bond built in that experience that can last a lifetime. It is something like hearing a song and years later hearing it again. You are instantly placed in the experience you had. An absolutely wonderful activity for a couple to do, is take dance lessons together. What a powerful bond you will form. After class go home and practice what you learned. Learning to dance is both fun and romantic. It is also an experience that is shared by only you and your partner. Dancing together in the living room is what movies are made of and what a romantic evening it will make for you.

Love Hurts

A good friend of mine gave me a plaque. It sits on the TV stand, below the television. The marble plaque is carved with the words, “Love like you’ll never get hurt”. This statement touched me deeply and it still causes me to think about what it means, and why the statement is necessary.

Love can be very painful when it turns on us. It can be and often is devastating. We basically open our armor, allowing our hearts to be vulnerable, trusting that our partner will do no harm. Often this is not easy since we have been hurt before. Each time we get hurt, we add more armor. This armor gets thicker and we open it less. What is happening is that love is not hurting us, we our hurting ourselves by not taking the chance. We need to take the chance. We need to love like we will never get hurt and never hurt the ones we love.

Distance:

We read and are told how distance makes the heart grow fonder. Does it really? Perhaps when someone we love takes a trip or spends a night with friends we do learn to appreciate what we have. But what if that distance is no further then a room or bed away. I have sat in a room next to a loved one as they read a book or watched TV and felt good just being next to them. But there are times when there is more. There are times when we realize that that person is in another world and we are not part of it. They have become consumed by the book, television or computer screen. Soon we sit there night after night just wanting a smile, touch or a soft word. But that person is long gone in another world.

Have you fallen into this pattern of behavior. If so, ask yourself why. Do you not love the person next to you? He or she needs your attention. I would suggest that you put down the book, turn off the television or computer; Sit next to your loved one, look into their eyes and remember why you first fell in love with this person. Remember your first date, first kiss and the first time you said “I love You”. Forget about your troubles. Forget about the days battles and stresses. Just look into their eyes and remember. When you do this, the words you say will be real. the actions you take will be real, because what you have is real.      

Getting Through “Troubling” Times

Everyone has experienced it…that place you find yourself with your mate. You suddenly don’t seem to be “connecting” any longer. There’s no explanation, it just “happens.”

Right away you start second-guessing yourself (“did I say something wrong”; “have I hurt their feelings somehow?”). Don’t fall into this trap. It will only end up spiraling down into believing there isn’t a way out of the situation.

Begin remedying the condition by approaching your partner and trying to communicate. Be cautious and don’t bring emotional responses that are easily fallen into (“I didn’t say that!”; “You never talk to me anymore!”). Instead, try approaching it simplistically: “Can we talk about how things have been lately - I think I can help you”; “Sweetheart, I’ve noticed you haven’t been quite yourself, how can I support you?”

If you open up a line of communication that doesn’t make your partner feel “threatened,” or “attacked” you will find that you have begun open discussions with an open heart and in a loving way. You will find that once relaxed, you “break-down” communication barriers and start truly speaking again.

One last important thing to remember: You must truly listen to everything your partner is saying. If you listen and are interested in how your mate feels, you will find that you will become closer than ever.

The Holidays

The holidays are about here and that means it is time to do some shopping. Shopping can be very difficult, especially for men. It is said that it is the thought that matters and do I agree. A great gift is one that comes from the heart. This year think about trying something new. This year make the gift. It shows your loved one that you cared enough to take the time to truly think about the gift. Check the yellow pages and see if there are places in your area that can help. There are businesses that allow you to make a variety of items out of clay and pottery and some do stuffed animals. The local craft store can also be a great help when it comes to making a gift.
You can even make the card. It does not matter that you are not artistic. Even if you still draw toes and bellybuttons on your stick figures your loved one will enjoy it. Break out the markers, crayons and paints and go to work. Not only will this make your loved one happy, it will give you time to truly think about that person. As you paint and color you will be put in an environment that is simple. Brand names are no longer important, cost is no longer important. What is important is that you are thinking and doing something for the person that you love. You are taking the time to show that person that you really care.

Forever in Love

My parents are celebrating there 60th wedding anniversary this year. What is amazing, is how in love they are after all those years. I could write a book on what they have done right. What really sticks out in my mind is that they truly enjoy doing things together. They make the table every morning and have breakfast together, the same for lunch and dinner; no TV or telephone, just time together. Every night about an hour before bed they sit at the table and play cards. It is their time to laugh, play and be young. Laughing, playing and living together has helped their relationship not just survive, but grow.